Fit Friday + Apologies

What a two weeks.  Sorry for the two week absence.  I was in a rough mood all last week.  E's hit that stage, at least I read about it and I've decided that's what it is, where all she wants to do in the evening is scream and scream and scream.  She doesn't have a dirty diaper.  She isn't hungry.  She isn't always tired.  She just screams.  So yes, this is a fun stage!  I've heard it settles down a bit after about the four month mark, though, so we're almost there... kind of.

Now for Fun Fit Friday!

Here's what I've been eating:

Breakfast:  Woke up too late for breakfast, but had a few glasses of water.

Lunch: Leftover penne pasta with sauce with beef and mixed veggies, a side of grapes, and a glass of water

Snack: Grapes and peanuts with a glass of water

Dinner: I forgot to take a picture of this, but it was really good.  We had a chicken curry dish with red peppers over rice.  I was surprised how much I liked it!  T did a great job.

 

and 

Dessert: I had about six cream puffs and then an hour later I was hungry again so I made a strawberry jam and butter sandwich with a glass of water.

And here's what I've been doing:

T and E were visiting some of his family so I had a couple hours to myself.  I decided to break out my new yoga mat and youtube some simple yoga videos.  It was very nice.  I did one more meditation oriented video and then a longer physical one.

E and I also tagged along with T as he went out to walk the dog after dinner.  E was loving it.  She looked up at the tall trees the whole time, taking it all in...and fighting off all evil with her powerful punches!

Have a great weekend!  

Fit Friday

I've decided to start making Friday posts "Fit Fridays".  I've seen a bunch of blogs that do a "What I Ate Wednesday"...but I'm going to take it a slightly different direction.  I'm going through a huge life transformation and that's including my health.  I'm hoping to make "Fit Friday" about more than the *hopefully healthy foods I eat that day.  I'm also going to make sure to do some sort of physical activity on Fridays.  Here's my first Fit Friday post!

About the food:
I started off my morning with a bowl of oatmeal with raisins and a little bit of brown sugar cooked in almond milk.  SO good!   Last night we went to T's mom's place for dinner and she surprised us with a sandwich maker/grill!  We were both super excited so we each made a sandwich today for lunch.  Mine was grilled ham, avocado and ketchup and it was delicious!  I also paired it with a mandarine and a glass of iced green tea and citrus.  We got back from grocery shopping a bit later than we expected.  I didn't want to ruin my dinner so I ate a banana for snack.  T cooked some kind of yellow curry with chicken and yellow peppers and onion for dinner.  For dessert I ate a slice of tompouce.  An hour later I got really hungry again...so I ate some Cool Ranch Doritos.  In the NL they are called "Cool American."  I thought that was interesting.  I realize that tompouce and Doritos are not healthy whatsoever, but I never said I was going to go all in and be 100% healthy and cut out all my unhealthy treats!  It's a transformation and takes lots of time.

My seriously delicious lunch!

And now for the fitness:

I've previously shared how much I love my new running shoes and how much I want to get back into the sport.  Like my healthy eating is a slow change, so it the fitness side of things.  As much as I would love to just start running 5Ks in under 30 minutes again, it's been a while.  And by a while I mean well over a year.  I've made the mistake of pushing myself too hard and too soon physically several times before and it just doesn't work very well for my body.  Plus, with a baby, it's hard to have the time alone to go for a run.  So today I strapped E in her carrier and we took a walk for just under 30 minutes.  I wasn't a slacker and walked slowly or anything.  It was a hot sunny day and I walked fast enough where I was increasing my heart rate.  It felt good.  We walked up to the campground I live by, less than a mile away.  I made it there in 10 minutes.  I stopped and talked to some of the horses.  One in particular seemed to need a friend.  He (or she...I know nothing about horses and I'm actually afraid of them) got really close to the fence as I walked by and followed me a bit, so I stopped to chat.  E was asleep, but the horse I think I'll call Stanley, said she looked beautiful.  What a sweet talker!  Stan and I exchanged pleasantries and there was a real connection.  I think we'll be good friends.  I had to head back because I knew we needed to head out for groceries soon so I told Stan I'd be back another time.  I made it back in another 10 minutes.  We also walked to and from the grocery store.  On the way there I followed T as he pushed E in the stroller.  We were going at a pretty good pace, for me anyway.  T has much longer legs than I do and he likes to speed up since it makes me lag behind and I end up having to jog to catch up with him.  On the way back E got super fussy and refused to be in the stroller so T ended up carrying her in his arms as I pushed the stroller full of groceries and the diaper bag all the way home.  

Stanley posing for a picture.  I'm not even kidding, he really did pose.  He wanted me to get his "good side."

Lactose-free's the way to be...

Almost.  Call me crazy, but last week I told myself something I never thought I'd say.  I said that I was going to completely cut dairy out of my diet.  Yes, it's true.  This is coming from someone who very much enjoys giant bowls of cereal, a mug of ice cream with milk poured on top (pretty much my favorite dessert ever!), cheese on my pizza, cheese on my sandwiches, sour cream, baked goods, cream puffs, and just a good 'ole glass of ice cold milk.  Why in the world would I think to stop consuming such delicious milky goodness?  T and I thought maybe E was reacting to it.  She had been so fussy and with out lack of sleep every night, we were going down the list of possible triggers.  T thought she might have reflux or be sick.  I thought maybe she wasn't getting enough milk or she hated us.  Then I threw out my dairy-free idea and we both agreed I should give it a shot.  That lasted all of half a day.  It started out great.  Instead of my bowl of cereal with extra milk or my bread with butter and chocolate sprinkles (it's a Dutch thing...thank you Dutchies!) I opted for a bowl of oatmeal cooked with water instead of the suggested milk for breakfast.  For lunch I left off the cheese on my sandwich.  I don't remember exactly what we had for dinner that night, since it was a whole week ago, but there was no milk product involved.  Then I got hungry again.  I needed some dessert.  I didn't want a PB&J.  I didn't want fruit.  I wanted ice cream.  So after I nursed E, I broke down and ate a Mars ice cream bar.  You know, a frozen Mars bar.  The next night I continued to spend the day dairy-free, but when it came time for dessert, I busted open the freezer and ate a bunch of cream puffs.

So what!  I might not have cut myself off from dairy, but I've cut WAY back.  I don't know if it's my dairy diet or E's finally getting her act together and getting on her own schedule, but she's going to bed much easier (I'll save our struggles with bedtime for another post) and seems to be spitting up and pooping ALL the time a LOT less.

Because I'm such a milk lover and didn't really want to give it up, I started researching alternatives.  One product I read a lot about was almond milk.  I had never tried it before.  I had tried coconut milk before and hated it!  So I was a bit nervous to test out the almond milk, especially since it came in a quarter gallon size and nothing smaller.  I ended up getting it and this morning used it in place of water for my oatmeal.  Let me tell you something, oatmeal has never tasted SO GOOD!  I have yet to taste it straight up, but maybe I'll try it tomorrow.

Have you ever had to give up dairy?  What are your favorite dairy-free meals?  Do you have any healthy dairy-free snack/dessert options?

Identity

I'm very new to blogging.  I started reading blogs last year.  Nowadays I tend to stick to reading mommy blogs, as I'm not interested in fashion or cooking so much.  I have about five blogs I read religiously, I follow these women on Instagram.  As I read blogs by women who's main focus is about the trials and triumphs of motherhood, I tend to look at them as my girlfriends.  I pretend that I can call them up and we'd plan a playdate and talk about how our record of diapers we've changed in a day (mine's about 20...is that common?!) and vent to one another about how the men in our lives don't quite understand how much mental and physical energy goes into nursing our babies.  We'd also talk about the latest celebrity dramas, like will Amanda turn things around and make a She's the Man 2?  Or will Prince George end up with William or Kate's hair or lack-there-of?  Okay, I obviously spend too much time alone to come up with such elaborate daydreams. 

I began writing this blog just a few weeks ago.  Deciding the identity of this blog has yet to work itself out.  This blog is called Becoming Mama V, so obviously it's about me and my journey of motherhood.  Thing is, Mama V is more than just a mother.  I'm a young woman who is experiencing motherhood at the very same time as I'm experiencing moving to a new country, planning a wedding, and growing up.    I'm inspired by the blogs that I read, but I don't want to be a copycat.  I'm still deciding on how much of myself I want to put out there.  Will I post pictures of E?  Will I share my Instagram account on here?  I feel like I've just started dating the blogosphere and I'm waiting for him to call me back after our first date.  So I guess we'll just have to see where this goes and what it transforms into.

So, time for the list making because lists help me feel organized.  (Yes, I'm one of those people.)

Who am I?

• A mother
• A fiancee
• An ex-Pat
• A young adult
• An introvert
• A lefty
• An artist
• A list maker
• A runner
• A procrastinator
• A teacher

What do I want?

• To be the best mother to E
• To inspire
• To grow
• To better myself
• To accomplish what's on my To-Do lists
• To learn

What do I want to accomplish with this blog?

• To connect with at least one person
• To put myself out there
• To tell my story

Pregnancy Story Pt.1

Have you seen the movie What to Expect When You're Expecting?  You know that major blockbuster starring Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, and about a hundred other big names?  Well I did.  I made the mistake of watching that within days of finding out I was pregnant.  I had crazy preggo hormones raging and I cried through the whole movie.  I've never cried during a movie, not during Life is Beautiful, The Titanic, or Toy Story 3 (yes, that movie was sad!), but I sat there going through tissue after tissue sobbing over What to Expect When You're Expecting.

Here's how T and I found out we were expecting.  It was another one of T's visits to see me.  We'd been a long distance couple from the start, so his month long visit in September 2012 was not so different.  We had a great time.  We visited my sister, her husband, and my three month old nephew B in New Orleans.  We had our engagement party and invited all our favorite people since we knew they wouldn't be able to make our wedding we had planned for September 2013 in the Netherlands.  T was due to fly back home on a Sunday.  The Wednesday night before then, we went to dinner and I randomly decided to take a pregnancy test.  I didn't think I was pregnant at all, but I just thought I should do it.  It read positive.  I show T and had him read the package and the test.  I didn't believe it, so I decided to take another test the next night, but bought another brand, just incase.  This one also read positive.  I didn't know what to do, so when I don't know what to do, I call my mom.  Duh.  She immediately advised me to call my doctor and take a test there.  I made an appointment the next day, Friday.  The test from the doctor's came back positive as well.  I called my mom back, told her the news and swore her to secrecy.  I wasn't ready to tell anyone.  I needed time to process the news for myself.  I also knew about the risk of a pregnancy failing during the first trimester, so I planned to let friends and family know once the first trimester was through, which happened to be around Christmas.  Sunday came all too quickly and T flew back to the Netherlands.  Monday morning I was on my own and pregnant, that sounds way more dramatic, and T wasn't leaving me.  He was actually over the moon about the news.  But this time saying goodbye at the airport really sucked.  We weren't 100% sure what our plan was anymore and so once he got in line to go through security at Logan Airport, I was about to begin the longest and most challenging nine months of my life.  (Here's a hint:  I did not have the pregnancy experience that Brooklyn Decker's character had in What to Expect When You're Expecting.)

T and I after our engagement party weekend October 2012

Late night...every night

We've been here in the Netherlands for almost two weeks now.  Time is flying.  What doesn't fly is every. Single. Night.  I've been up almost every night with E until about 2-4 in the morning.  T and I know that we need to get her back on a schedule, but we have no clue how to do that.  I'm not sure if we should start waking her up from sleeping and naps during the day to possibly better the chances that she'll be sleepy enough around bedtime or not.  It doesn't help that by morning I'm still spent from all the nights not sleeping, that I just want so desperately to catch up on my sleep as well.  With all the late nights and late mornings, I can't even get myself on a schedule.  For instance, last night I finally managed to get E to stay asleep around 2:30/3 AM.  She and I woke up (after a feeding or two and a bit of sleepy fussing) around noon.  At noon we nursed for a half hour, spent some quality smiling and laughing time on the changing table (E LOVES lying on the changing pad.  It's odd, but SO adorable), changed a diaper, and the I gave her a much needed bath.  Around 1:15 PM I brought her downstairs, sat her in her swing and watched her nod off to sleep around 1:30.  I felt a little bad about her sleeping again, but I REALLY needed to shower and eat something.  T was busy all morning walking the dog and cleaning up the house.

Any suggestions on how to go about getting a two month old on a manageable and realistic schedule?  And is there any hope on this mama ever sleeping again?

The last time I feel like I got some quality sleepy

(Yes, that's me in 1987)

30 before 30

I won't be 30 until 2017, but I'm a massive procrastinator. So I decided to give myself a few years, instead of just one, to accomplish 30 things before I turn 30.  I wanted to start marking things off this year because so many life changing events were beginning to unfold.

Here's my 30 before 30 list:

1. Have a baby
2. Visit France
3. Ride a horse
4. Get married
5. Cook a new recipe for dinner every night for a week
6. Learn Dutch
7. Improve my French
8. Travel to at least five different countries in Europe (not including the NL)
9. Run a 5K
10. Run a half marathon
11. Try escargot
12. Forgive people who've hurt me in the past
13. Finish a painting
14. Fill up a sketchbook
15. Own a fish or plant and keep alive for more than a week
16. Read one new book a month for a year
17. Take a family vacation
18. Make a new friend
19. Participate in a yoga class
20. Start and keep up a blog
21. Go on a road trip
22. Complete E's baby book
23. Make a scrapbook
24. Get dressed to the 9's...including lipstick and heels!
25. Finish an entire tube of chap stick
26. Live somewhere for more than a year
27. Cook Thanksgiving dinner
28. Re-illustrate a children's book
29. Get a massage
30. Plant a garden, no matter how small or successful

Let's get physical, physical...

Check out my new Asics!  I got these sneaks this week and today was the first day I made time to try them out.  I was so excited to put them on and head out with T and E to a campsite down the road.  It was a nice walk.  We saw tons of horses, not something I saw often in Boston, so I took tons of pictures!  I think E enjoyed seeing them for the first time.  When she's older, she'll definitely take a riding lesson if she's interested.  Once we get more settled and secure, I'd like to take my first lesson.  I have a fear of horses, so I'd like to overcome that.  It's also on my list of 30 things to do before I'm 30.  I'll save that list for another day.

Today was such a positive day for me.  I'm typically a homebody and I don't get out much, but since the giant move I know it's important to get out as much as possible.  I can't wait to get out and explore even more.  T mentioned to me that he'd like to show me a path in the woods, not far from the campground that I could potentially use as a running route.  Hopefully we'll get to do that soon.  T also uploaded a running app on my phone so I can tell how long in time and distance I go running and it maps the route, so that's pretty cool.  I just have to figure out how to use it!  I'm not very tech savvy so it could take a while.  Once I figure it out, maybe I'll post about it.  Do you have a running app that you'd recommend?

Goodbye and Hallo!

We made it.  We survived a five hour flight, an hour and a half layover, and an hour flight, plus all the waiting at Boston Logan and airplane taxi-ing.  The move is officially over.  When will it all actually begin to sink in?  Becoming a mother hasn't even sunk in yet and E will be seven weeks on Saturday!  AHH!

Let's back up a few days.  Sunday my dad came up from Virginia to help me with my move.  We pretty much packed and cleaned up and out of there from Sunday to Wednesday.  That's right, I can pack up and throw away my life in just a few short days.  In the end we took three car loads of bags and boxes to the Goodwill, donated a carload plus 6 garbage bags to a donation box, and a car load of items for my dad to return to Virginia for safekeeping.

I think I did a pretty awesome job about not losing my shit in the process.  I only had one breakdown on Sunday, but a call to my mom put me back together.  I didn't cry saying any of my goodbyes.  Not that there's anything wrong about crying, but I prefer to keep the waterworks to a minimum and to myself.  I got to see a few friends and the majority of my MA family before heading out which was really nice.  I even got a last minute phone call from my little brother.

Fast forward to today...I don't even know what day or time it is anymore.  Jet lag is a real pain for me.  E's jet lag/completely screwed up sense of time/inability to adjust immediately to the move is the biggest pain for me.  I like to think I can deal with next to no sleep, extreme allergies upon arriving at my new abode and a life altering move, but doing that with a newborn is a WHOLE other story.  How can a mom not be at her breaking point?  It's now 3:40 AM on Friday (NL time) and I've been up since before 11:00 AM on Wednesday (NL time).  We were given a wonderfully warm welcome into the country by almost all of T's family.  I managed to get almost everything unpacked and most things where I think I want them.  E's room is looking awesome if I do say so myself!

I'm at the point where I just might be crashing in here with her tonight.  She's managed to sleep about 20 minutes in the past four hours I've been trying to get her to bed.  It's now 4 AM.  It's been a VERY long four hours.  I've lost count of how many diapers I've changed, the number of rocking positions I've tried, and the amount of tissues I've used to blow my nose because of allergies...

BREAKING NEWS: E just pooped herself to sleep.  Should I dare move her to her crib?  I'm so scared!

UPDATE:  I changed her stinky self and she's wide awake again... at 4 IN THE MORNING!

This post needs a list.
What I'm going to miss about home:
-Target
-mountains
-being able to understand what the majority of people are saying on the train
-being able to call/text my family and friends
-Taco Bell

Packing

Is it possible to get my whole life and E's packed up in just a few suitcase?  Let's hope so!  We must be 98% packed by tomorrow night, so let's all cross our fingers.  The stress of packing, moving to a new world, and being a new parent is quite overwhelming.  I had a big of a breakdown yesterday.  Today there was no time to break down.  E was a champ of a sleeper last night.  She went down at 11:20 PM last night and woke up about 5:45 AM.  Great job, E.  Who was not a great sleeper last night?  This gal.  I was up just about every hour because I couldn't chill out.  My brain was going 20394829384 miles a minute.  I was going through and adding up all the things still left to get done before Wednesday afternoon.  Another big stresser for me today was my six week check up.  I don't live near my doctor's office so I had to take public transportation.  I knew I'd be away from E for a good four hours or so and I've never been away from her for more than 15 minutes when she and T went around the block for a walk once or twice.  I definitely just about drained my phone battery texting T every five seconds checking in and asking if I should just come back and cancel my appointment.  I ended up making the appointment and T, E, and my dad (who came up to help send me off) picked me up and E was fast asleep and in one cute little piece.

So back to this packing away my life... I used to be such a pro at knowing what to pack and how to pack efficiently.  What happened to me over the years?  I've also accrued so much stuff!  Who really needs four piggy banks, 150+ DVDs, and 23 of the same tank top in various colors (I'm addicted to Target long and lean tanks...)?  T is going to end up filling up a large suitcase and a half plus a carry on.  I've already filled up two large suitcase and a carry on with stuff for me and E.  But there's still SO much stuff left I'd like to bring!  I've spent five years building my DVD collection!  I don't want to leave any of them behind!  And my Harry Potter book collection!  It's so heavy, but I need them with me!  I've read them all more than once.  And what about my elephant collection?  I love them all!  E will love them!  E will want them!  I want them!  This is so hard.  I'm starting to get very flustered and angry about having to give up so many of my things that I want to get to the Netherlands and start throwing away tons of T's things.  I know this is a silly and irrational thing to want to do, but this sleep deprived ex-pat-to-be mama is losing her mind!

Speaking of losing my mind...it's after 11 PM again and E's waking back up after I thought I got her down 15 minutes ago.  :(

One week left

I have one week left in the States before our big move to the Netherlands.  I am horrified, stressed out, and scared shitless.  Then there's the brief moment where I allow myself to take a breath and get excited.  I think about all the new things I'll get to do and experience over there.  I've moved several times in the past five years, but this is another chance for me to start anew.  Five years ago I moved to the 'burbs outside of Boston and for the past three years have lived even closer and the past two years have worked in the heart of the city.  At 21, I thought it was time for a dramatic life change and I could and would reinvent myself.  I barely knew anyone so it would have been the perfect opportunity to be the person I didn't feel I could be back at home.  I did change a bit and had lots of time to learn more about myself, grow up a lot, and become my own person.  Some of the things I've always hated about myself remained the same and I didn't work on them, but that's okay.  I'm hoping that with this next move I'll be able to grow even more and continue to work on my faults and strengthen the things I like about myself.

But now I'm moving to a whole new place, a new country, a new continent!  And this time I'm moving my family.  I'm five years older.  I have a baby.  I'm about to have a husband.  Whoa!  

Things I'd like to do in the Netherlands:

-Travel around Europe (OK, so it's not necessarily IN the Netherlands, but whatever...)

-ride/own a bicycle (haven't been on one in over 15 years)

-visit the tulip fields when they are in full bloom (do the pictures really do these flowers justice?)

-go horseback riding (I'm terrified of horses and have never even touched the creature)

-learn Dutch (my number one priority once we get there)

-make running a priority (free therapy!)

-get to know T's family better (since they will be my family, too)

-stay connected with my family via Skype (hoping to build stronger relationships with many of them)
-make tompouce (a Dutch pastry...SO good!)
-take a family vacation ANYWHERE

*Apologies for the very scatter brained posts, it's super hot, I have baby brain, and am super stressed...so my thoughts are all over the place.

Here and now

In exactly 8 days from now we'll be taking off.  We'll be leaving everything I know and beginning our life together.  My fiancé, T, my newborn daughter, E, and I will be on our way to the Netherlands.  There is so much to get done in the next week (I must get it done in seven days or less because I know I'll be a hot mess on my last day.)

Things to get done before take off:
-cancel car insurance
-apply for a new birth certificate
-cancel cell phone
-pay bills
-officially quit my job
-cancel health insurance
-make my 6 week Dr's appointment
-pack my life into a couple of suitcases
-get rid of what doesn't it into the above mentioned suitcases
-visit with everyone I can to say goodbye

That is an overwhelming list.  I'm hoping that this blog will help me maintain what little bit of sanity might remain with me through this new volume of my life story.  In a span of four months (June-September) I had a baby, I'll be moving to another continent, and I'll be getting married.  What other huge life changes can occur?  This is all very scary, exciting, stressful, and unbelievable.  I'd like to be able to share my journey- struggles, triumphs, failures, joys, and fears included.  For once, I'm going to let people in and experience life with me.  It's a time of great change, so might as well let some walls down and expose myself.

My back story:
If you happen to read this and don't already know me here's some facts about me:
-I enjoy making lists and plan to make a few during posts
-I'm the middle child of seven
-Born and raised in Virginia
-Spent the past five years living around Boston, MA
-Occupation: Preschool teacher
-My baby girl, E, is five and a half weeks old now
-Getting married to T at the end of September
-Moving to T's home in the Netherlands
-I'm a very private person

What I'd like to achieve with this blog:
-Keep a written record of life happenings
-Connect with people- mothers, teachers, young women, ex-pats, Dutchies
-Cheap therapy

I'll end the lists for this post and well as end the post.  E's waking up- after only 30 minutes of sleeping at bedtime!  AH!  She was doing so well with sleeping through the night.  Fingers crossed T and I get some sleep tonight.

Goedenavond (good night!)