Packing

Is it possible to get my whole life and E's packed up in just a few suitcase?  Let's hope so!  We must be 98% packed by tomorrow night, so let's all cross our fingers.  The stress of packing, moving to a new world, and being a new parent is quite overwhelming.  I had a big of a breakdown yesterday.  Today there was no time to break down.  E was a champ of a sleeper last night.  She went down at 11:20 PM last night and woke up about 5:45 AM.  Great job, E.  Who was not a great sleeper last night?  This gal.  I was up just about every hour because I couldn't chill out.  My brain was going 20394829384 miles a minute.  I was going through and adding up all the things still left to get done before Wednesday afternoon.  Another big stresser for me today was my six week check up.  I don't live near my doctor's office so I had to take public transportation.  I knew I'd be away from E for a good four hours or so and I've never been away from her for more than 15 minutes when she and T went around the block for a walk once or twice.  I definitely just about drained my phone battery texting T every five seconds checking in and asking if I should just come back and cancel my appointment.  I ended up making the appointment and T, E, and my dad (who came up to help send me off) picked me up and E was fast asleep and in one cute little piece.

So back to this packing away my life... I used to be such a pro at knowing what to pack and how to pack efficiently.  What happened to me over the years?  I've also accrued so much stuff!  Who really needs four piggy banks, 150+ DVDs, and 23 of the same tank top in various colors (I'm addicted to Target long and lean tanks...)?  T is going to end up filling up a large suitcase and a half plus a carry on.  I've already filled up two large suitcase and a carry on with stuff for me and E.  But there's still SO much stuff left I'd like to bring!  I've spent five years building my DVD collection!  I don't want to leave any of them behind!  And my Harry Potter book collection!  It's so heavy, but I need them with me!  I've read them all more than once.  And what about my elephant collection?  I love them all!  E will love them!  E will want them!  I want them!  This is so hard.  I'm starting to get very flustered and angry about having to give up so many of my things that I want to get to the Netherlands and start throwing away tons of T's things.  I know this is a silly and irrational thing to want to do, but this sleep deprived ex-pat-to-be mama is losing her mind!

Speaking of losing my mind...it's after 11 PM again and E's waking back up after I thought I got her down 15 minutes ago.  :(

One week left

I have one week left in the States before our big move to the Netherlands.  I am horrified, stressed out, and scared shitless.  Then there's the brief moment where I allow myself to take a breath and get excited.  I think about all the new things I'll get to do and experience over there.  I've moved several times in the past five years, but this is another chance for me to start anew.  Five years ago I moved to the 'burbs outside of Boston and for the past three years have lived even closer and the past two years have worked in the heart of the city.  At 21, I thought it was time for a dramatic life change and I could and would reinvent myself.  I barely knew anyone so it would have been the perfect opportunity to be the person I didn't feel I could be back at home.  I did change a bit and had lots of time to learn more about myself, grow up a lot, and become my own person.  Some of the things I've always hated about myself remained the same and I didn't work on them, but that's okay.  I'm hoping that with this next move I'll be able to grow even more and continue to work on my faults and strengthen the things I like about myself.

But now I'm moving to a whole new place, a new country, a new continent!  And this time I'm moving my family.  I'm five years older.  I have a baby.  I'm about to have a husband.  Whoa!  

Things I'd like to do in the Netherlands:

-Travel around Europe (OK, so it's not necessarily IN the Netherlands, but whatever...)

-ride/own a bicycle (haven't been on one in over 15 years)

-visit the tulip fields when they are in full bloom (do the pictures really do these flowers justice?)

-go horseback riding (I'm terrified of horses and have never even touched the creature)

-learn Dutch (my number one priority once we get there)

-make running a priority (free therapy!)

-get to know T's family better (since they will be my family, too)

-stay connected with my family via Skype (hoping to build stronger relationships with many of them)
-make tompouce (a Dutch pastry...SO good!)
-take a family vacation ANYWHERE

*Apologies for the very scatter brained posts, it's super hot, I have baby brain, and am super stressed...so my thoughts are all over the place.

Here and now

In exactly 8 days from now we'll be taking off.  We'll be leaving everything I know and beginning our life together.  My fiancé, T, my newborn daughter, E, and I will be on our way to the Netherlands.  There is so much to get done in the next week (I must get it done in seven days or less because I know I'll be a hot mess on my last day.)

Things to get done before take off:
-cancel car insurance
-apply for a new birth certificate
-cancel cell phone
-pay bills
-officially quit my job
-cancel health insurance
-make my 6 week Dr's appointment
-pack my life into a couple of suitcases
-get rid of what doesn't it into the above mentioned suitcases
-visit with everyone I can to say goodbye

That is an overwhelming list.  I'm hoping that this blog will help me maintain what little bit of sanity might remain with me through this new volume of my life story.  In a span of four months (June-September) I had a baby, I'll be moving to another continent, and I'll be getting married.  What other huge life changes can occur?  This is all very scary, exciting, stressful, and unbelievable.  I'd like to be able to share my journey- struggles, triumphs, failures, joys, and fears included.  For once, I'm going to let people in and experience life with me.  It's a time of great change, so might as well let some walls down and expose myself.

My back story:
If you happen to read this and don't already know me here's some facts about me:
-I enjoy making lists and plan to make a few during posts
-I'm the middle child of seven
-Born and raised in Virginia
-Spent the past five years living around Boston, MA
-Occupation: Preschool teacher
-My baby girl, E, is five and a half weeks old now
-Getting married to T at the end of September
-Moving to T's home in the Netherlands
-I'm a very private person

What I'd like to achieve with this blog:
-Keep a written record of life happenings
-Connect with people- mothers, teachers, young women, ex-pats, Dutchies
-Cheap therapy

I'll end the lists for this post and well as end the post.  E's waking up- after only 30 minutes of sleeping at bedtime!  AH!  She was doing so well with sleeping through the night.  Fingers crossed T and I get some sleep tonight.

Goedenavond (good night!)