Let's get physical, physical...

Check out my new Asics!  I got these sneaks this week and today was the first day I made time to try them out.  I was so excited to put them on and head out with T and E to a campsite down the road.  It was a nice walk.  We saw tons of horses, not something I saw often in Boston, so I took tons of pictures!  I think E enjoyed seeing them for the first time.  When she's older, she'll definitely take a riding lesson if she's interested.  Once we get more settled and secure, I'd like to take my first lesson.  I have a fear of horses, so I'd like to overcome that.  It's also on my list of 30 things to do before I'm 30.  I'll save that list for another day.

Today was such a positive day for me.  I'm typically a homebody and I don't get out much, but since the giant move I know it's important to get out as much as possible.  I can't wait to get out and explore even more.  T mentioned to me that he'd like to show me a path in the woods, not far from the campground that I could potentially use as a running route.  Hopefully we'll get to do that soon.  T also uploaded a running app on my phone so I can tell how long in time and distance I go running and it maps the route, so that's pretty cool.  I just have to figure out how to use it!  I'm not very tech savvy so it could take a while.  Once I figure it out, maybe I'll post about it.  Do you have a running app that you'd recommend?

Goodbye and Hallo!

We made it.  We survived a five hour flight, an hour and a half layover, and an hour flight, plus all the waiting at Boston Logan and airplane taxi-ing.  The move is officially over.  When will it all actually begin to sink in?  Becoming a mother hasn't even sunk in yet and E will be seven weeks on Saturday!  AHH!

Let's back up a few days.  Sunday my dad came up from Virginia to help me with my move.  We pretty much packed and cleaned up and out of there from Sunday to Wednesday.  That's right, I can pack up and throw away my life in just a few short days.  In the end we took three car loads of bags and boxes to the Goodwill, donated a carload plus 6 garbage bags to a donation box, and a car load of items for my dad to return to Virginia for safekeeping.

I think I did a pretty awesome job about not losing my shit in the process.  I only had one breakdown on Sunday, but a call to my mom put me back together.  I didn't cry saying any of my goodbyes.  Not that there's anything wrong about crying, but I prefer to keep the waterworks to a minimum and to myself.  I got to see a few friends and the majority of my MA family before heading out which was really nice.  I even got a last minute phone call from my little brother.

Fast forward to today...I don't even know what day or time it is anymore.  Jet lag is a real pain for me.  E's jet lag/completely screwed up sense of time/inability to adjust immediately to the move is the biggest pain for me.  I like to think I can deal with next to no sleep, extreme allergies upon arriving at my new abode and a life altering move, but doing that with a newborn is a WHOLE other story.  How can a mom not be at her breaking point?  It's now 3:40 AM on Friday (NL time) and I've been up since before 11:00 AM on Wednesday (NL time).  We were given a wonderfully warm welcome into the country by almost all of T's family.  I managed to get almost everything unpacked and most things where I think I want them.  E's room is looking awesome if I do say so myself!

I'm at the point where I just might be crashing in here with her tonight.  She's managed to sleep about 20 minutes in the past four hours I've been trying to get her to bed.  It's now 4 AM.  It's been a VERY long four hours.  I've lost count of how many diapers I've changed, the number of rocking positions I've tried, and the amount of tissues I've used to blow my nose because of allergies...

BREAKING NEWS: E just pooped herself to sleep.  Should I dare move her to her crib?  I'm so scared!

UPDATE:  I changed her stinky self and she's wide awake again... at 4 IN THE MORNING!

This post needs a list.
What I'm going to miss about home:
-Target
-mountains
-being able to understand what the majority of people are saying on the train
-being able to call/text my family and friends
-Taco Bell

Packing

Is it possible to get my whole life and E's packed up in just a few suitcase?  Let's hope so!  We must be 98% packed by tomorrow night, so let's all cross our fingers.  The stress of packing, moving to a new world, and being a new parent is quite overwhelming.  I had a big of a breakdown yesterday.  Today there was no time to break down.  E was a champ of a sleeper last night.  She went down at 11:20 PM last night and woke up about 5:45 AM.  Great job, E.  Who was not a great sleeper last night?  This gal.  I was up just about every hour because I couldn't chill out.  My brain was going 20394829384 miles a minute.  I was going through and adding up all the things still left to get done before Wednesday afternoon.  Another big stresser for me today was my six week check up.  I don't live near my doctor's office so I had to take public transportation.  I knew I'd be away from E for a good four hours or so and I've never been away from her for more than 15 minutes when she and T went around the block for a walk once or twice.  I definitely just about drained my phone battery texting T every five seconds checking in and asking if I should just come back and cancel my appointment.  I ended up making the appointment and T, E, and my dad (who came up to help send me off) picked me up and E was fast asleep and in one cute little piece.

So back to this packing away my life... I used to be such a pro at knowing what to pack and how to pack efficiently.  What happened to me over the years?  I've also accrued so much stuff!  Who really needs four piggy banks, 150+ DVDs, and 23 of the same tank top in various colors (I'm addicted to Target long and lean tanks...)?  T is going to end up filling up a large suitcase and a half plus a carry on.  I've already filled up two large suitcase and a carry on with stuff for me and E.  But there's still SO much stuff left I'd like to bring!  I've spent five years building my DVD collection!  I don't want to leave any of them behind!  And my Harry Potter book collection!  It's so heavy, but I need them with me!  I've read them all more than once.  And what about my elephant collection?  I love them all!  E will love them!  E will want them!  I want them!  This is so hard.  I'm starting to get very flustered and angry about having to give up so many of my things that I want to get to the Netherlands and start throwing away tons of T's things.  I know this is a silly and irrational thing to want to do, but this sleep deprived ex-pat-to-be mama is losing her mind!

Speaking of losing my mind...it's after 11 PM again and E's waking back up after I thought I got her down 15 minutes ago.  :(

One week left

I have one week left in the States before our big move to the Netherlands.  I am horrified, stressed out, and scared shitless.  Then there's the brief moment where I allow myself to take a breath and get excited.  I think about all the new things I'll get to do and experience over there.  I've moved several times in the past five years, but this is another chance for me to start anew.  Five years ago I moved to the 'burbs outside of Boston and for the past three years have lived even closer and the past two years have worked in the heart of the city.  At 21, I thought it was time for a dramatic life change and I could and would reinvent myself.  I barely knew anyone so it would have been the perfect opportunity to be the person I didn't feel I could be back at home.  I did change a bit and had lots of time to learn more about myself, grow up a lot, and become my own person.  Some of the things I've always hated about myself remained the same and I didn't work on them, but that's okay.  I'm hoping that with this next move I'll be able to grow even more and continue to work on my faults and strengthen the things I like about myself.

But now I'm moving to a whole new place, a new country, a new continent!  And this time I'm moving my family.  I'm five years older.  I have a baby.  I'm about to have a husband.  Whoa!  

Things I'd like to do in the Netherlands:

-Travel around Europe (OK, so it's not necessarily IN the Netherlands, but whatever...)

-ride/own a bicycle (haven't been on one in over 15 years)

-visit the tulip fields when they are in full bloom (do the pictures really do these flowers justice?)

-go horseback riding (I'm terrified of horses and have never even touched the creature)

-learn Dutch (my number one priority once we get there)

-make running a priority (free therapy!)

-get to know T's family better (since they will be my family, too)

-stay connected with my family via Skype (hoping to build stronger relationships with many of them)
-make tompouce (a Dutch pastry...SO good!)
-take a family vacation ANYWHERE

*Apologies for the very scatter brained posts, it's super hot, I have baby brain, and am super stressed...so my thoughts are all over the place.

Here and now

In exactly 8 days from now we'll be taking off.  We'll be leaving everything I know and beginning our life together.  My fiancé, T, my newborn daughter, E, and I will be on our way to the Netherlands.  There is so much to get done in the next week (I must get it done in seven days or less because I know I'll be a hot mess on my last day.)

Things to get done before take off:
-cancel car insurance
-apply for a new birth certificate
-cancel cell phone
-pay bills
-officially quit my job
-cancel health insurance
-make my 6 week Dr's appointment
-pack my life into a couple of suitcases
-get rid of what doesn't it into the above mentioned suitcases
-visit with everyone I can to say goodbye

That is an overwhelming list.  I'm hoping that this blog will help me maintain what little bit of sanity might remain with me through this new volume of my life story.  In a span of four months (June-September) I had a baby, I'll be moving to another continent, and I'll be getting married.  What other huge life changes can occur?  This is all very scary, exciting, stressful, and unbelievable.  I'd like to be able to share my journey- struggles, triumphs, failures, joys, and fears included.  For once, I'm going to let people in and experience life with me.  It's a time of great change, so might as well let some walls down and expose myself.

My back story:
If you happen to read this and don't already know me here's some facts about me:
-I enjoy making lists and plan to make a few during posts
-I'm the middle child of seven
-Born and raised in Virginia
-Spent the past five years living around Boston, MA
-Occupation: Preschool teacher
-My baby girl, E, is five and a half weeks old now
-Getting married to T at the end of September
-Moving to T's home in the Netherlands
-I'm a very private person

What I'd like to achieve with this blog:
-Keep a written record of life happenings
-Connect with people- mothers, teachers, young women, ex-pats, Dutchies
-Cheap therapy

I'll end the lists for this post and well as end the post.  E's waking up- after only 30 minutes of sleeping at bedtime!  AH!  She was doing so well with sleeping through the night.  Fingers crossed T and I get some sleep tonight.

Goedenavond (good night!)